Radio interview – Fox FM Melbourne with Fifi, Fev and Nick

FIFI BOX, HOST: We’re pumped about this, for the first time on our show we are joined by the Prime Minister, Albo, Anthony Albanese, and we’ve created his own jingle.

JINGLE: (To the tune of “Easy” by Commodores) It’s Albanese.

PRIME MINISTER (IN JINGLE): My fellow Australians, thank you for this extraordinary honour.

JINGLE: Albanese’s on the show this morning.

FIFI: He’s in town and we’re very excited. He’s joining us live, Anthony Albanese, welcome to Fifi, Fev and Nick.

ANTHONY ALBANESE, PRIME MINISTER: Good morning. My own jingle that’s, I’m very proud of that.

NICK CODY, HOST: You’ve made it.

FIFI: You should be Albo.

BRENDAN FEVOLA, HOST: Finally made it.

FIFI: That means you have made it, we don’t make a lot of jingles. But that is a big tick of approval and you’re going to be in Melbourne today. What are you going to get up to? Can people come and meet you?

PRIME MINISTER: I might run into them around town. But I’m speaking at the Economic and Social Policy Outlook Conference.

FEV: That sounds fun.

PRIME MINISTER: Sounds like a rage, doesn’t it.

FEV: Yeah, real fun.

PRIME MINISTER: It’s hosted by Melbourne Uni every year. It’s a big conference that they have every year. So it’s the conference that stops the nation.

NICK: Wow. Is this like the nerd grand final?

PRIME MINISTER: It’s a bit like that. But I’m looking forward to speaking there about the economy and the way forward and all of that. So it will my second visit to Melbourne this week. I was there on Monday visiting a childcare centre there in Balaclava. And we did a street walk with Josh Burns.

FEV: Burnsy!

PRIME MINISTER: There’s some pretty handy coffee shops and places, The Wall, there was a place called The Wall that serves very good coffee, just to give them a free ad there. Sorry about that guys.

FEV: Well done. Hey Albo, are you in Sydney right now, coming to Melbourne? Are you in Sydney?

PRIME MINISTER: I am in Sydney now. Stuck in traffic in Sydney right now.

FEV: Breaking news, right near your new pad, the Taronga Zoo, is that four Lions have escaped from the zoo.

FIFI: Unconfirmed reports.

PRIME MINISTER: I’ll keep an eye out for them.

FEV: Yeah, well just let the family know.

PRIME MINISTER: Watch out for lions boys.

FEV: You spoke about the Melbourne Cup, the race that stops the nation. Did you have a punt yesterday, mate? Get the economics going?

PRIME MINISTER: Yeah, I didn’t do very well.

FEV: What did you back?

PRIME MINISTER: Horse number three, Knights something or other, Knights Order. It hit the front about, five or six hundred out but forgot it was a 3200 metre race. If it was 2400 I would’ve won a motza.

FEV: It should have been like the last election, when ScoMo knew he was done, he should have just given up like your horse.

PRIME MINISTER: I think he did about a week out. When he said he was a bulldozer that was not a good sign.

FIFI: Now, Prime Minister, I know you have this very important conference today and good luck with that. But while you’re here, we thought we would take this opportunity, having you in town, we’ve got a little thing that we’ve made called a Big Fox, and we’re trying to rival the Big Banana and the Big Pineapple up in the northern states. And we just haven’t had much success, our Lord Mayor Sally Capp is sort of a bit on the fence about whether or not we can put it anywhere in Melbourne. But we feel like if we had your approval and if you deemed it appropriate to have it as a Melbourne icon. That’s like as big as it gets, the Prime Minister’s seal of approval. I believe you’ve just been shown some photos of our Big Fox. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, what do you think of it? And can we put it somewhere in Melbourne?

PRIME MINISTER: I’m in. I’m in. I think there aren’t enough big things in Australia. If you go around the country, you see the Big Macadamia Nut, the Big Pineapple. You got the Big Sheep at Goulburn.

NICK: The Big Guitar.

PRIME MINISTER: It’s iconic at Tamworth. You’ve got big everything. We need more big things for Australia, I reckon. And a Big Fox, why not?

FIFI: Oh Albo, thank you!

FEV: We’re in.

FIFI: Taking that to the boss.

PRIME MINISTER: I’m going to have a word to Sally.

FEV: Oh, hang on. Sorry, Albo.

FATMAN SCOOP: Hello? Hello? Hello, sir.

PRIME MINISTER: Yes?

FATMAN SCOOP: How you doing? This is Fatman Scoop.

PRIME MINISTER: Ah, Fatman again.

FATMAN SCOOP: Yes, sir. I was walking around and I can hear the speakers in here. And I hear you on the radio. I’m here working doing interviews. I’ve been calling your people for three weeks, what’s going on here sir?

PRIME MINISTER: Mate, I’m in. I’ve done a little video for your gigs that are coming up.

FATMAN SCOOP: Sir, I love you. I respect you. But I need you to come down and DJ with me sir. Be with me with the people. Here’s the thing, and then I find out just now that you’re going to be in Melbourne. What’s the address? I need to come down and see you sir.

PRIME MINISTER: Come down, come down, oh look it could really liven up this Melbourne University economic conference, couldn’t it?

NICK: Finally, a DJ at an economics forum.

FATMAN SCOOP: Give me a second, Melbourne University what?

PRIME MINISTER: It’s co-hosted by The Australian.

FATMAN SCOOP: But what’s the address, sir?

NICK: Melbourne University, we can show you where to go.

FATMAN SCOOP: Can I get a Uber there?

FIFI: Yeah we can Uber you there.

PRIME MINISTER: The Sofitel Hotel tonight.

FATMAN SCOOP: Okay, Sofitel Hotel, okay, so listen, I’m coming down now. I don’t want to talk to your people anymore. I need your personal phone number.

NICK: Personal phone number?

FATMAN SCOOP: I need like, do you have an Instagram? Can I slide in your DMs? You’ve got to give me an option here sir because this is not working.

PRIME MINISTER: You can slide into my DMs any time Fatman.

FATMAN SCOOP: Here’s the thing. But this is not a threat sir.

FIFI: Are you going to threaten our Prime Minister?

PRIME MINISTER: No look, it’ll liven up. The gig, let me tell you tonight. You know, in between perhaps halfway through my speech, you can just do a bit of DJ-ing.

FEV: If you got a twenty dollar bill, put your hands up!

FATMAN SCOOP: Hold up, no Federal Police are going to arrest me?

PRIME MINISTER: No, they’ll be fine, Scoop. You’ll be right. Yeah, we can get, imagine that, the whole of this Melbourne University conference, with suits and the full bit, all organised and you can be there. ‘Put your hand up’ – they’ll be into it, for sure.

FATMAN SCOOP: Listen, I’m supposed to be sleeping because I’m on American time. But if I have to come down there to get this done, sir, I’ll be down there.

FIFI: Can I just give you some context, you’ve been asking our Prime Minister for months, since August, to DJ with you at Fridayz Live this Friday at Rod Laver.

FATMAN SCOOP: Fridayz Live, yes! I’ve been asking the man, and here’s the thing. This is not a threat sir.

NICK: Keep saying that, that always helps.

FATMAN SCOOP: If you do not do this, I’m getting my Australian citizenship and I’m running against you. I’m out of here. I’ll talk to you later.

PRIME MINISTER: I hate to give you the big tip, but I think I can possibly stop that happening.

FATMAN SCOOP: Thank you very much sir.

FIFI: Prime Minister, thank you so much for joining us. Fatman Scoop has left the studio now, you’re safe. No more of those unnecessary threats.

PRIME MINISTER: Thanks guys, lock him out.

FIFI: He’s gone. We lost him, but you are welcome to join, if you can stay down another night, we’d love you at Fridayz Live and looking forward to your conference today. Does sound a bit boring so we won’t be there but thank you.

PRIME MINISTER: Fatman Scoop will be. It’s going to be lively tonight now.

FIFI: It certainly will be.

FEV: Watch out for the lions.

FIFI: Look after yourself.

PRIME MINISTER: And watch out for the lions. This is one of my more diverse interviews, I’ll put it that way.

FEV: Don’t worry, you’ll get interviewed about that later on today, when you touch down in Melbourne. They’ll be asking you about the lions being loose in your town.

PRIME MINISTER: Well, I haven’t seen them yet.

FEV: Last time I heard about a lion being loose, it was me in Brisbane.

FIFI: Now Prime Minister, and thank you for endorsing our Big Fox here at Fox FM. We look forward to seeing that all over Australia and have a great time in Melbourne.

PRIME MINISTER: The Big Fox, great.

FEV: Do you want to hear your jingle again?

FIFI: We’ll see you out with your jingle.

NICK: Here it is, here it is mate. Thank you Anthony Albanese.

PRIME MINISTER: Why not, see me out.

JINGLE: It’s Albanese.

PRIME MINISTER: My fellow Australians, thank you for this extraordinary honour.

JINGLE: Albanese’s on the show this morning.